The world seems to define life as something where you go digging for happiness and you’re lucky if you find it. Or like life is a dish and happiness is a side you have to pay extra for. However, recently I’ve been exposed to the truth. First that happiness is free and second, that it doesn’t require any digging.
About a year ago, I quit my job, the job I had been working since I was in high school. It wasn’t anything I was passionate about at all and to be honest going there felt a little like getting my soul sucked out. I could have gone there with the worst attitude ever, constantly complaining about it but instead I hiked up my big girl pants and decided that this is my life and I’m going to choose to be happy. I had also decided that I wanted to be a person who put their all into everything they did. So before stepping into work I would tell myself how I’d want my day to go, where I’d to let go of the negativity customers came in with and tried to share with me, to make the most of my time with my coworkers, and to do my best wherever I was. This actually worked. Somehow although I would feel like I failed sometimes, like I was too focused on some negative customer, on how much time I had left, or I felt too quiet that day. Despite how I felt, other people noticed that I was different. Despite this not being where I wanted to be I was still a positive person that my co-workers, customers, and employers appreciated. Some people said that it seemed like I was happy to be there- no, I wasn’t. I was just choosing to not be miserable and to be honest I did put my all into that place. I stayed late, went early, went during rain, snow, and holidays. I was friendly to people who treated me like crap and be-friended most of my co-workers. I worked my butt off, gave it my all, and my best attitude.
However, when I finally quit it was because I knew that I could be happier and I knew that I could easily fall into the trap that most people did of staying there because time flies and you get comfortable being not happy but not miserable. I left and currently there are people in my life- who I love, and who want me to start looking for jobs again. This doesn’t sound like a heinous thing but when I did try to apply for jobs I literally felt my soul tell me that it was tired. I applied to a multitude of jobs out of a sense of duty and responsibility but I couldn’t bring myself, to make myself, struggle like that anymore. I had to ask myself why I wasn’t able to when I was capable of giving my all to anything, when I was capable of persevering in joy through anything. The answer I got was simple. It’s because I don’t want just anything.
Someone had once asked a crowd of people “when you’re asked to do something you don’t want to do by your boss what do you do?” of course the answer was, “you do it.” I could see how my life while working had been doing a lot of what I didn’t want to do and over time I had lost that sense of chasing after what I want. Now I finally have the opportunity to do what I love and put my all into.
So, what I’m trying to say is that happiness isn’t something that’s impossible to find, in fact you have the capability of locating it very easily. It’s like when you need to find your car in a parking lot and you keep hitting your keys to find it. That’s your heart. When you’re doing something that you hate, you know it and when you’re doing something you love, you know it and when it’s time to be happy it’s time to say no to the things that don’t bring you joy. So if you want to be happy just understand that it’s something that is within you but you have to choose it and sometimes choose it over other things.